How to Eat an Elephant

It’s mulch time at Richmond Ropes. The sun is out, the weeds are coming up and the paths and ground around the elements are crying out ‘cover us!’ Over the past two months, I’ve been blessed with a crew of 5 guys whose mission-for two hours each week, at least-has been to help me in my mulching endeavor. They’re here to learn English at YWAM VA’s English Language and Culture School, and of all our students work for 2 hours each day to help keep the base running. Their tasks are usually pretty varied, but they got to know that when they saw me heading across the driveway at the beginning of work duty time, it was time to grab the shovels, pitchforks and wheelbarrows and head back to the ‘mountain,’ as they dubbed it, of wood chips (Picture: Pedro, one of my crew, loading mulch to take to the mountain). We made great headway over the almost two months we’ve worked together, and last week came the pinnacle of our efforts-at the end of each school, we set aside two days where students and staff work together to get the base ready for the next school and do other projects to improve our property and grounds. Our base director usually looks out for the ropes course and assigns me at least a few guys to help with the ‘man work’ of maintaining the course, and this time was no exception.

‘Ok, Beth,' you’re thinking, ‘what does all of this have to do with elephants?’ Don’t worry, it’s coming. I found out about my workday crew on a Friday. I was elated and immediately started calling our city dump (they offer free mulch to city residents) to find out when the front-end loader operator would be around to fill our ancient truck (I call her Bessie the Big Blue Truck-pictured left, at the dump on workday) with mulch. After several days of calling and missing him, I was moving from elated to desperate. Finally, the day before workday, the heavens opened and the voice on the other end of the line said ‘he’ll be here for 15 more minutes.’ I hopped in the truck, in my skirt and high-heeled sandals (I was slated to sing at church later that evening-but when the mulch man cometh, you don’t stop to change clothes), and, shortly thereafter found myself standing behind Bessie on the Low Circuit in my work clothes, holding a pitchfork and looking at an impossibly large load of mulch. I had to leave in a little over two hours—so, leaving time to put away tools, eat, and become presentable again, I had almost exactly an hour to do the work. Enough time for two strapping, strong guys-not enough for one spaghetti-armed girl.

I started shoveling and praying-‘God, how am I going to do this?’ The only answer I got was an old joke-the corny kind my family likes to call ‘John jokes’ because my Dad, John, loved them so much:

Q: ‘How do you eat an elephant?’ A: ‘One bite at a time’

So I kept shoveling, chipping away at my elephant one bite at a time. And as I shoveled, I thought. Shoveling is a great time to ponder things-from the physics of flying mulch to the events of your week to the mysteries of life.(Need some contemplative time? Give me a call and I can schedule a mulch meditation session for you, no problem. :) ) I had been struggling, the day before, with the enormity of my job as the ropes course director- groups, maintenance, repairs, scheduling, staffing, promoting, purchasing equipment-and had come to a place of crying out to God: ‘did you really call me to this? Because I CAN’T do it!’ As I thought through the events and conversation that had brought me to that point and tried to make sense of it all, I had one of those moments where God taps you on the shoulder and gently pulls you back from the tiny corner of the picture you’ve been studying to a place where you can see more, if not all, of it. And when He did, I saw a connection. The day before, my job had looked as impossible to me as the load of mulch had a few moments earlier. And the solution was the same: ask God, trust Him, and then start eating, one bite at a time.

I finished the shoveling just in time (Pictures: me and some of the workday crew shoveling even more mulch). I cleaned up and headed to church where the speaker talked about Elijah and the prophets of Baal-how Elijah had this huge thing to do (convincing Israel to turn from Baal worship back to the one true God by calling fire down on a soaking wet altar and sacrifice) that he couldn’t possibly do on his own. I felt God tapping me on the shoulder again as this gentleman challenged us to look at what we feel called to do and submitted that if it wasn’t too big for us to do on our own, it probably wasn’t of God. Because, let’s be honest-if it’s within our reach, we just do it. It’s only when it’s an elephant- or an impossibly large truckload of mulch- that we throw up our hands and say ‘help!’ and He has the opportunity to step in and be glorified as He shows us who He is.

So as you consider the elephant (or mountain of mulch) on your plate, let me give you a tip, one diner to another-there’s only one way to get it down. Paul describes it well: ‘We were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself…but that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again.’ II Cor 1:8-10

And, of course, one bite at a time. 

If you’ll excuse me, I think I hear God calling me to the table for another bite. Happy eating!


Praise God with Me:

+For a blessed, safe, productive and successful trip to the west coast for training and certification-God blessed me with increased experience, comfort, passion in the area to which He’s called me. He also blessed me with passing scores on both my tests and the awarding of my Level II certification, not to mention the financial and practical provision it took to get and keep me there.

+For the groups He’s bringing out to the course-our schedule is not yet as full as I’d like it to be, but there are several connections He’s made between us and ministries that I’m very excited to partner with in their work with at-risk kids.


Pray with Me:

+That I will continue to rely on God and not myself as I direct the ropes course. Particularly, that I won’t let financial (we owe some money to the base for building that was done before I became the director) or logistical (I am currently the only full-time staff on the ropes course, which is challenging in many areas) issues overshadow what God is calling me to-to be used by Him in the lives of at-risk kids through the ropes course.

+That God will bring more groups to the course. It’s sometimes quite frustrating to have this amazing tool and see it being used less often than it could be.

+That God will call and raise up at least one more full-time staff person for the course-I’m blessed with 14 volunteers, but all are committed primarily to other ministries and help out on the course in their spare time-which is limited.

+That God will equip and bless my volunteers as they serve Him on the course as well as in their own ministries, giving them energy, skill, discernment and words of encouragement for the participants.

But Not For Me...

‘they’re singing songs of love, but not for me/a lucky star’s above, but not for me’ (Not for Me, George Gershwin)

We had Launch Week at YWAM VA a few weeks ago. We spent 5 days together as a staff hearing and processing what our leadership council has heard from God about the direction of the base for the next 5 years.

One afternoon we spent an hour alone with God processing through everything, using 4 questions our base director (Chris is pictured, right)  had given us. At first, I was doing great-the direction God is showing them, ‘Passionately Follow God & Champion Young People’ lines right up with the vision God gave me when I left ‘normal life’ two years ago for YWAM. I had honestly almost forgotten the deep desire and passion God had given me-partly through my experience with the amazing teenagers He had blessed me with in Nashville (if you ever want to listen to me talk for at least an hour, ask me about my DSL kids, some of whom are pictured left)-to see young people equipped and reaching out for God-to their own generation, to other generations and even nations.

But as God often does, He had something up his sleeve for me when I hit the third question: ‘Lord do I have the faith to believe (what You are promising us by leading us in this direction)?’ I’m a verbal processor, so I often don’t find out what I’m really thinking or feeling until I start speaking or, in this case, writing. So when I read what I’d written: ‘Probably not. If by faith you mean I’ll be surprised or even crushed if it doesn’t happen, then no’ I was surprised, but knew when I asked myself if I really meant it, that I did. Not a great answer for someone-a missionary, for crying out loud-who is supposed to be living on faith, believing that God not only can, but WILL do the impossible to further His kingdom.

Some of you may remember that one of the lessons God taught me in my DTS had to do with asking ‘why not?’ when faced with the impossible. Instead of analyzing and criticizing and finding reasons why God is not behind something or why He won’t do something I’m hoping for, He called me to say ‘why not-why wouldn’t He? Why couldn’t He? He’s God-strong, loving, the whole deal.’ So seeing this on my paper was a little like an alcoholic coming to himself and finding that he’s sitting on a barstool with a beer in hand. Really, Beth? We’ve been through this! So I asked God why, and He showed me that ever since I put it all on the line-fasting, praying, crying, you name it-praying for God to save my marriage and He said, effectively, ‘no,’ I’ve been believing a lie. Instead of learning the healthy, true lesson that God does not always say yes and that that’s ok-that He’s God and does, in His ultimate strength and love, what pleases Him (which is ultimately what is best for me and the kingdom-as it was, in fact, in that case) I began to agree with George Gershwin… ‘a mighty God’s above (and will step in) but not for me’

But praise God, like that alcoholic, I’m going for ‘progress, not perfection’ and God is giving me, every day, a new chance to believe the truth and not the lie. Especially now that I know what it is. So here goes…see ya, Mr Gershwin.

Praise God with Me:

+for how He continually draws and teaches me these lessons, no matter how many times I end up back on that barstool :).

+for the new couple He added to my partnership team (financial and prayer supporters) and the potential partner He may be raising up.

+for the anonymous donor who paid my base fees for my time at our Salem, OR base (I’m going out for 2 months to train with the head of ropes course ministry in YWAM and to sit for two ropes certifications) and the other smaller but just as awesome ways He’s provided for me in the past few months as I’ve prepared for this trip.

Pray with Me:

+that God will provide the rest of what I need for my Salem trip-I leave Friday (3/5) and I still need several hundred dollars.

+that God will order my steps and help me to accomplish all I need to before I leave- I’ve just started to schedule for the 2010 season and have to put that on hold to go to Salem; our inspection is scheduled the week after I get back, and I need to pack and study, among other things.

+that God will be my strength (and that I would look to and rely on Him to be) as I’m in Salem, and especially when I travel to Seattle at the end of my trip to study and test for my Levels 1& 2 Association for Challenge Course Technology certifications.

+that God will step in (and that I will believe that He will) and do all that He desires to do in our ministry through the ropes course.

What I Learned from Emma & the Giant Swing

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go”   Joshua 1:9

I read this verse a few weeks ago in my quiet time. Then and every other time I’ve read it, I’ve always understood God to be saying that, first, Joshua should be strong and courageous and second, that being strong and courageous means that you do not feel fear or dismay.

A little girl showed me this Saturday that I was wrong. Emma is 6 years old and came to our base with her mom and dad who are pioneering a YWAM base in West Virginia. I had set up a video shoot for our ropes course promotional video that day, and so we’d invited Emma’s family to join us, and the youth we’d invited for the video, on the Giant Swing (picture above, me sending . We were almost done when Emma decided she’d like to go off of the swing, too. The best way for Emma to do that, since she’s so small, is to go in tandem with her dad, so both of them climbed up to join Chris, my base director (pictured, right, on the Swing), and I on the platform.

As soon as Emma reached the top, she started crying. We have a strong ‘challenge by choice’ policy at Richmond Ropes, so Chris and I began to try to comfort her and explain to her that she did not have to go off the swing if she didn’t want to. We could lower her back down the way she’d come up and no one would ever blame her for not going. She’d been plenty brave just to climb the more than 20 feet to the platform. But she was adamant-‘I want to go, I want to go’ all while clinging to her daddy and crying. We’d ask why she was crying, and she’d say ‘I’m afraid.’ But still, she stuck to her guns-she was going. Every once in a while she’d quiet and we’d take another step in the process of sending her-hooking her dad up and having him sit down, hooking her to her dad-and at each step, the crying would start again. And each time we’d say ‘You don’t have to go-are you sure you want to go?’ and through her tears, she’d say ‘yes!’ Up to and through the point when she and her dad left the platform, this continued. When she wasn’t crying, she was shaking, she was so afraid-but she wouldn’t back down.

Later that day I had an opportunity to tell Emma what God had used her to teach me-that fear and courage are not opposites. That perhaps the truest most impressive courage is shown when we act even though we’re afraid-when we refuse to give up on the challenge, even though we have to cling, crying and trembling, to our Father to make it through.

And when I reflected on all of this in light of Joshua 1:9 this morning, God helped me to understand even more. He was not telling Joshua it wasn’t ok to feel fear-fear is a feeling-feelings are given to us by God, and are often useful in handling and processing the situations He leads us into (thanks, Laurie). There are many of those situations (such as when one is standing on a 20+ foot platform about to step off into thin air) when not feeling fear is nothing short of stupidity-is, in fact, the sign of a dangerous insensitivity to reality. People who aren’t at least a little afraid in those kinds of situations end up falling off of the platform because they didn’t think it was important to hook in before they leaned over the edge to wave at the people on the ground. What’s not ok is to BE afraid, to allow fear to become not a feeling but an attitude or a state of being that keeps you from ever leaving the ground when God is calling you to climb.

And that’s what I learned from Emma and the Giant Swing.

Praise God with me:

+For a good first season directing Richmond Ropes-God carried me through so much and taught me so much! (including the lesson above :))

+For God’s provision-First, of a new windshield for my car-I was waiting until the crack got entirely across the windshield to pony up the dough to fix it, and almost the same week that happened, someone came to me and asked if they could buy me a new one! Second, of money for medicine when I had the swine flu (I got an anonymous gift the day before I got sick, for enough to make up the difference between what it cost and what I could pay). Third, airfare for my trip to Salem, Oregon for training in March-a friend is letting me use her frequent flyer award, all I have to do is pay a $50 fee.

Please Pray with me:

+That God will continue to teach and grow me through and equip me for what He’s calling me to do in Richmond.

+That God will provide the rest of what I need for my trip to Salem-I will have housing and living expenses while I’m there, as well as the cost of the training I’ll attend and the certification I’ll test for (and hopefully receive). And that He’ll help me and show me favor when I test for the certification-I actually have to test and pass two levels in 5 days, and this is an awful amount of time and money to spend if I don’t pass.

+That God will lead me in balancing the ropes course, my continued work in the urban ministry, fundraising, serving in my church, family, friends, and all of the other things on my ‘plate.’

And Life is Like a Song...(a prayer request)

I always thought that would be a good thing. And maybe, by God’s hand, it will eventually be. But at the moment…

‘I think I’ll move to Boston/I think I’ll start a new life’ is, as of last week, my assistant director, Nehemias’, new theme song (Nehemias is pictured, left, facilitating on the Flying Squirrel). He unexpectedly announced to the base leadership that he felt God calling him to leave Richmond and move to Boston to get married and work with the base there. God had graciously prepared me for this announcement through some things that had happened in the weeks prior, but it’s still not my favorite thing. So, I’m posting this super-short update to ask you to pray.

And I thought I was ‘climbing’ before…apparently, that was just the warm-up. Praise God, He’s still on belay. : )

Please pray:

+For Nehemias: that God will lead and bless him in his marriage and future ministry in Boston

+For me: equipping to do all that God has set before me (which now includes a whole lot more of what my friend Luba calls ‘man work,’ along with things I can handle physically but just plain haven’t done before), and that God will use this time to grow and strengthen me and my trust in Him.

+For God to raise up at least one more full-time ropes course staff.

+For God to order my steps as I book groups and those of my facilitators to ensure that the needed personnel are available when groups want to come to the course (at this point, all my ‘staff’ are principally responsible to other ministries and will have to work the ropes course in to their schedules as a secondary priority-I don’t think I realized before now what a blessing it was to have 2 ‘sure things’ in the facilitation lineup).

Praise God with me:

+For preparing me for this news and equipping me to handle it.

+For the volunteer staff I still have (3 of whom-Carol, Jack & Camila-are pictured right, training on the Titanic), who have almost unanimously voiced support and willingness to do whatever it takes to get through this time (one of whom is a 'true' volunteer-not on staff with YWAM-and is still committing to give whatever time he can beyond his work responsibilities).

+For God’s equipping and help with my new load thus far.

Thanks guys…today more than ever, I’m so thankful for you, my ‘cloud of witnesses’ praying and cheering me on.

Climbing

'On Belay?’
‘Belay On’
‘Climbing.’
‘Climb on!’

Thus begins one of my favorite new pastimes-rock climbing. I love it because it’s a challenge (and because it’s fun). To get to the top of a route (the section of wall or rock you’re climbing) you have to use all of your brain and your body, and quite often, you have to make risky, almost crazy maneuvers—pushing up on one leg while reaching with another, aiming to get your finger into a narrow crevice and grip strongly enough to pull up far enough to put your right foot on that tiny ledge above your hip so you can take a breath and start over again. To make those moves, you need not only strength and brain and nerves, but an unflagging trust in the person who holds the other end of the rope to which you’re attached-your belayer (the guy on the right in the picture below, taken before I started a climb)) who essentially holds your life in his hands. A good belayer never takes his eyes off of his climber, is always ready with encouragement and guidance when the climber is stymied or about to try a difficult move, and when the climber falls (as beginners like me generally do more than once while attempting a route) he’s ready to stop them. (Blake teaches Lauren and I to belay and we give it a try in the pictures below)



The reason I tell you all of this (no, this has not been a commercial for Rock Climbers of America) is that God has, as He often does, used this ‘non-ministry’ experience to speak to me about ministry. A week or so after my first outdoor climbing experience, I was assigned to lead the summer program for the neighborhood kids. I was more than a little overwhelmed by the prospect-I had just a few weeks of urban ministry under my belt, was just barely making it through Character Club (our weekly bible study with the neighborhood kids) with my sanity intact, and was making very little headway building relationships with the girls in the study-and now, I was supposed to be not just helping, but planning and running a program multiple times a week with those same kids. In my quiet time one day that week, I was thinking about climbing--one of those mental tangents that are most of the time just distracting, but which God sometimes redeems, as He did this time when He broke into my digression to draw a parallel. I was facing, in leading the summer program, what looked like an insurmountable obstacle. It would take everything I had--no, more than I had--to get to the top. But I could almost hear God saying to me ‘Beth, this is a difficult route, but I’m on belay-I’ve got you-climb on!’

I didn’t end up directing the summer program. I started the climb, and was grateful at several points on the route to remember that God was on belay. But I was even more grateful for the practice in trusting when, in mid-June, our base director asked me to pray about taking over as the Director of Richmond Ropes, our high and low ropes challenge course. After I prayed and understood that God was, indeed, saying ‘climb on,’ I started my most challenging climb yet. First, I had to figure out (or shut up long enough to hear God telling me) how leading the ropes course fit into my calling to minister to at-risk teenagers. God showed me that almost everything about the ropes course-from the experiential method of learning to the lessons of servanthood, interdependence, encouragement, achievement, and responsibility (among others) is tailor-made to reach the kids I’m called to. That, in effect, He was handing me the perfect tool for the job. Since then, every day has presented new challenges-recruiting, directing and caring for staff, bringing groups to the course, budgeting, planning, training and many more. I don’t manage it all the time, but more and more I’m standing at the bottom of the routes that God puts in front of me and remembering to say ‘On Belay?’ and after hearing His affirmative response, to say ‘Ok, God, I’m climbing’ to which He always replies ‘Climb on!’



Praise God with Me:
+ For the way He’s led me these last few months and provided me with this amazing tool (the ropes course) for urban ministry.

+ For my recent trip to Nashville and the fellowship and new partners He blessed me with while I was there.

+ For His provision even outside of partners: I am constantly amazed at how I need or even just want, things and then they drop into my lap. A friend asks for a ride to the airport and offers to fill my gas tank when it’s way below ‘E.’ Another friend is moving and gives me her tennis shoes that won’t fit in her luggage-when mine are about to give up the ghost. So many fun stories, so little time.

Please Pray with Me:
+ That I will continue to hear and heed God’s encouragement and guidance as I climb. That I could face challenges well and also find balance between my continued work with the urban department and the responsibilities of leading the ropes course (in this picture, my two worlds collide as we take ground games from the ropes course to character club-fun times!).

+That God will guide and show favor as I make calls to previous groups and potential groups to try to schedule time on the course.

+ That God will raise up and equip part time and full time staff to join Nehemias (my assistant director), our current part time staff, and I in this ministry (Camila, in this picture, is one of my volunteer summer staff).

+ That God will raise up partners for Nehemias and I so that, with our financial needs covered, we can focus solely on the ministry at hand.

+ That God will heal the bacterial skin infection I’ve had since July-I’m on my second round of antibiotics with a side of steroid cream and am definitely ready for some relief.

Home

As some of you know, I grew up in the military. Every three years, like clockwork, we packed up and moved to a new place and my brother and I steeled ourselves for another term of being ‘the new kid.’ We got used to it, but it was never our favorite part of life-leaving the place we had come to consider ‘home’ and the people who made it feel that way and landing in a completely unfamiliar, uncomfortable and, with the exception of each other, friendless place.

When I moved to Richmond last month to start my work with YWAM, I found myself right back in ‘new kid’ mode. I didn’t expect it because I had spent 5 months here last year during my DTS. But the six people I’d been closest to, my classmates, were not here. My role had changed—from student to staff member—which meant a new schedule, new responsibilities and new quarters (The Inn, our dining hall and my former abode, pictured left) . I had expected to pick up where I’d left off 6 months earlier and instead found myself as adrift as I’d ever been after one of our moves growing up. Don’t get me wrong-everyone was kind and welcoming and helpful. I spent most of my first day hugging people and hearing words of welcome. But in the end, I was still the ‘new kid.’ Unfamiliar, uncomfortable, awkward. I cried, I journaled, I prayed, and this song (‘Home’ from the Broadway version of Disney’s Beauty and the Beast’) began to play in my head:

"Is this home? Is this where I must learn to be happy?/ Never knew that a home could be dark and cold/ I was told, every day of my childhood, even when we grow old/ Home should be where the heart is-never a word so true/ My heart’s far, far away-home is, too/ What I’d give to return to the life that I knew lately/ But I know that I can’t solve my problems going back”

And also, from Landon Pigg’s ‘Keep Looking Up:’
“I know you’re going somewhere new/ and I know it’s never going to feel like home to you/ but this time, the only way around is through”

It sounds strange, but God often uses the songs in my head to speak to me. I wondered, for a few days, if this was one of those times. But what was the message, then? ‘You’re not home, get over it?’ Then one morning in my quiet time I turned to Deuteronomy 33 and read verse 27: “the eternal God is your dwelling place; and underneath are the everlasting arms” and I got it-this is not home, and it never will be. God is home. And so, in a sense, wherever I go or whatever I do, I am home, because God is there. And when I 'fall' in the unfamiliarity and awkwardness-say something dumb to that person, forget this kid’s name, get lost and arrive hopelessly late for that church service, He catches me in His arms—sometimes smoothing things over, but always reminding me that, even though I’m not perfect, it’s going to be ok.

As ‘Beauty and the Beast’ progresses, Belle begins to feel at home. She learns to love the ‘people’ in the enchanted castle and, in time, even the Beast. A few days after I read that verse in Deuteronomy, God led me to take a walk around the neighborhood. As I walked, I noticed the beginnings of familiarity and love for this place and these people. I passed houses that I recognized as the homes of people I’ve met, and remembered the things we prayed over them a few days before as we took our weekly prayer walk. I walked past the ‘Hut’ (the Powhatan Community Center) where we have Character Club every Thursday night and thought of the kids I’m getting to know there. I saw two little girls in the park that I planted herbs with at the Neighborhood Resource Center earlier in the week.


I ended up at a vacant corner lot that I love because it’s got a great view of the city (pictured, right) as well as down into the projects that a lot of our kids live in. As I looked out, I found another line from ‘Home’ in my head: ‘Is this home? Am I here for a day or forever?’ And for the first time since I arrived in Richmond, I was willing to (and did) say to God ‘I will stay here as long as you want me to’ instead of ‘God, help me get through my two year commitment.’

I don’t know if He’ll take me up on it, but I know that wherever He leads me, I’ll be at home.

Praise God with Me:
+For my first EVER (as a full time staff member) support check that arrived in the mail a few weeks ago…and for the second that followed last week. I believe that if God is calling me here, He will provide my funding-so checks are good not only because they help pay my rent (which is great), but because they’re like a booster shot to my confidence in my calling.
+For giving me His heart for this place and for continually making me more comfortable
+For God’s favor and progress in my relationship with M, one of the teens I’ve been assigned to develop a one-on-one relationship with.
+For God’s blessing and leading in my mentoring relationship with one of the English Language and Culture School students-an amazing 18 year old girl from Chile.

Pray with Me:
+That God will provide the support that I need to continue serving in Richmond (all YWAM staff live entirely on support-my living and ministry expenses will come to something like $1300 a month)
+That God will continue to give me His heart for this neighborhood and especially the kids I work with (pictured right: my friend and fellow staff, Julia, and I with some girls from the neighborhood-we spent 8 hours together one Saturday, braiding Julia's hair)
+That God will show us favor and give us wisdom in dealing with the kids, whose family and social backgrounds are quite different from ours
+That God will continue to open doors as I pursue a one-on-one relationship with M

Walk With Me

As I was wracking my brain (and my hard drive, and the internet…) for a brilliant name for this blog, I came across these song lyrics. I loved them so much and they seemed so perfect, that I almost picked ‘Walk With Me’ as the name. But, ‘Cloud Watching’ just seemed so perfect, too…it has the advantage of being for both of us. For you, it accurately describes the purpose of this blog: to help you, my cloud of witnesses, watch what God does in and through me as a result of your love, prayers and support. And for me, it reminds me: there is a cloud watching. I have a responsibility, first to God, and then to you, to be faithful to my calling, to seek and serve God among young people who need Him.

But, as I said, I almost picked ‘Walk With Me,’ because it fits, too. It’s a Caedmon’s Call song that I sang at St. Paul once (I flatter myself to think that some of you SPCC'ers might remember :)). I have the lyrics on my hard drive because, well, I never trust my memory when I sing. Anyway, check it out:

Walk With Me
Walk with me quiet, walk with me slow
With watered down coffee and words of gold
I can feel the edges of these things
When I hear you speak to me, so walk with me

Walk with me empty, walk with me strong
The hush of our voices, when the day seems so long
It is like a balm, it is like a jewel
It unravels all I thought I knew

Will you lead me, beside the still waters
Where the oil, it runs over, and my cup overflows
You restore my soul

Tell me the story, where old is made new
The promise of ages, and all things that are true
When the shadows fall and the wrecking ball
Swings and tears me through the heart

Will you lead me, beside the still waters
Where the oil, it runs over, and my cup overflows
You restore my soul

15 While David was at Horesh in the Desert of Ziph, he learned that Saul had come out to take his life. 16 And Saul’s son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God. I Samuel 23

Sometimes God, as in Psalm 23, directly leads us to still waters, comforts us and gives us rest from the trials we face, the battles we fight. I’ve experienced that often over the last year, and it has been awesome. But many times, we are too focused on our struggle or pain to respond to His leading. Then, he sends us friends—they listen to us, speak comfort to us, advise us, help us understand, lead us beside the still waters and sit with us there until God restores our soul. I’ve experienced that many times this year, as well, and I can’t begin to express my gratitude to God and to those who’ve allowed Him to use them to ‘walk with me’ and ‘help me find my strength in God.’ I’m so thankful to you, my cloud of witnesses, for walking with me in the last year, and for signing up to do it again—I know that I will be able to ‘do all things’ that come my way because ‘Christ strengthens me’ (Phil 4) directly, and through you. I praise God for you!