We went on Niko last weekend. Niko is the Greek word for ‘overcome’ (and the word from which Nike gets its name, for you trivia buffs out there). We overcame a LOT. What, you ask? Well, I can’t tell you that, or I’d have to kill you. : ) (Ok, it’s not QUITE that strict, but they do ask us to keep the Niko secrets so that people who participate in the program after us can have the same experience-and part of it is not ever knowing what’s coming next.) What I CAN tell you is that it is a great program and I would highly recommend it. As you’re about to read, God really used it to work in my life. And, from the stories I’ve been hearing since we got back, in everyone else’s lives as well.
I was actually doubting, halfway into the weekend, if God would be able to teach me anything through Niko—I was blessed to go to the mountains in Colorado with DSL (the youth group I left to come here) last summer, and this trip was shaping up to be similar to that one. I was actually thinking, by the middle of day 2, how far I’d come since then—I only had to stop my team once so I could breathe (it seemed I had to stop constantly last summer) after a steep climb; I was enjoying the beauty of God’s creation around me, instead of focusing solely on putting one foot in front of the other and I was even able to look outside of myself at times to encourage my teammates. Sure, I was tired, but nothing like Colorado.
Toward the end of our hike, we came to a river. The crossing looked pretty easy, which was good because my oh-so-experienced feet were starting to kill me. As I crossed, though, I slipped off a rock and got my boots completely filled with water. I got to the other side and found myself trying not to cry-what happened to my triumphant, if tiring, hike? I held it in and we started back on the trail. I told God that I would be fine as long as He didn’t make us cross the river again (famous last words, anyone?). When we turned a corner on the trail and saw the river, wider and faster and deeper than the last time, looming up ahead of us, I was just SURE the trail would turn downstream until it came to a bridge. After all, it was getting dark and I had just prayed, so surely God was going to spare me, right? Not when He had something to teach me, apparently-when we got down to the bank, we could see where the trail picked up directly on the other side of the river.
At this point, it was all I could do to keep from sitting down on the trail and crying. I did sit down, but I focused on taking my boots and socks off to prepare for the crossing. While I was doing this, one of my teammates, Jesse (who is also in DTS-directly left of me in the picture), was wading out and testing rocks. He came back and reported that it would be rough and we’d get really wet, but he thought we could do it. We tried to confer as a team, but I was working too hard to maintain control to be able to speak, so he reported our decision to the staff. They replied that this was not a safe place to cross-they would allow it, if we insisted, but they did not advise it and encouraged us to find another way. Controlling my tears became even harder at this point-I was tired, hungry, sore, cold and now, afraid-I had been assuming that everything we would face, while difficult and uncomfortable, would be, in reality, risk-free (a silly assumption, since nothing in life, especially in the wilderness, is completely safe, but there it is). Needless to say, I was even less help to my team now as we discussed our options. In the end, Jesse and our other male team member, Byrd (from Thailand, here for the PCYM School-left of Jesse in the picture) decided to scout a route to a log bridge we could see a few hundred feet upstream. I had discouraged this route earlier-I had slipped off of a similar bridge the summer before, and though I wasn’t hurt, just shaken, knew the likelihood and the terror of feeling your feet slip out from under you. The water under the bridge last summer had been calm and shallow-this was deep and rushing, with more than a few ugly rocks waiting to greet anyone who fell. But, since we really had no other viable options, the log bridge it was.
Byrd went ahead to test the bridge, and Jesse started leading us upstream. The river bank was steep and rocky, and as I followed him, my foot slipped and I almost fell. That small drop, in light of the possibility of a larger one in my future, was the last straw-I broke down and sobbed like a child for at least a minute. I can still see Jesse’s face, unsure of what to do with this grown woman weeping and holding on to a tree root coming out of the bank. I motioned to the girl behind me to go around and told him I just needed a few seconds to get myself together. By the time he came back for me I was calmer and ready to go on. I will never forget his compassion and patience as he led me up the bank, nor that of Byrd as he talked me across the bridge. I got to the other side safe, tired and incredibly humbled. I apologized to my teammates for abandoning them. They graciously accepted, and we continued our hike.
My experience by ‘the big river,’ as I’ve come to think of it, was good on a bunch of levels. Of course, it wasn’t good in the moment-but God used it to burst the pride-bubble I’d been inflating all day, about ‘how far I’d come.’ He used it to teach me to allow others to help me-something I’m not great at, as a recovering achiever and perfectionist. He showed me that being vulnerable and weak before people does not always result in rejection, but sometimes compassion and deeper friendship. And He showed me, in the hours following when I did not spiral into the pits of shame where I would have been a year ago had this happened to me, how far HE has brought me on the road to emotional and spiritual health. Yea God!
Please praise God with me:
+For an awesome and growth-filled Niko for me, my class and team mates.
+For all but roughly $1500 of our lecture fees being paid-I wish I had time to fill you in on all the details, but God is so good! Only $22,000 of outreach fees and airfare to go!
+That He has given me the opportunity to be the student leader for our outreach to Amsterdam, and for the encouragement and practice He gave me this weekend on Niko
+For my friend Bobby All (Nashville)’s progress on the road to recovery (he’s been in the hospital for several weeks)
Please pray with me:
+For God to provide the remainder of our outreach fees and airfare-He graciously provided mine through you, my supporters, before I left, but as a team we still owe around $22,000, roughly $10,000 of which is due to the travel agent by June 10.
+For God to equip and prepare us individually and corporately for our outreach to Amsterdam, especially to unify us as a team (we have some interpersonal conflicts growing-we need God to nip them in the bud and give us His love for each other)
+For God to provide housing for the first part of our outreach to Amsterdam (as far as I’ve heard, we’re still double booked for the first month)
I was actually doubting, halfway into the weekend, if God would be able to teach me anything through Niko—I was blessed to go to the mountains in Colorado with DSL (the youth group I left to come here) last summer, and this trip was shaping up to be similar to that one. I was actually thinking, by the middle of day 2, how far I’d come since then—I only had to stop my team once so I could breathe (it seemed I had to stop constantly last summer) after a steep climb; I was enjoying the beauty of God’s creation around me, instead of focusing solely on putting one foot in front of the other and I was even able to look outside of myself at times to encourage my teammates. Sure, I was tired, but nothing like Colorado.
Toward the end of our hike, we came to a river. The crossing looked pretty easy, which was good because my oh-so-experienced feet were starting to kill me. As I crossed, though, I slipped off a rock and got my boots completely filled with water. I got to the other side and found myself trying not to cry-what happened to my triumphant, if tiring, hike? I held it in and we started back on the trail. I told God that I would be fine as long as He didn’t make us cross the river again (famous last words, anyone?). When we turned a corner on the trail and saw the river, wider and faster and deeper than the last time, looming up ahead of us, I was just SURE the trail would turn downstream until it came to a bridge. After all, it was getting dark and I had just prayed, so surely God was going to spare me, right? Not when He had something to teach me, apparently-when we got down to the bank, we could see where the trail picked up directly on the other side of the river.
At this point, it was all I could do to keep from sitting down on the trail and crying. I did sit down, but I focused on taking my boots and socks off to prepare for the crossing. While I was doing this, one of my teammates, Jesse (who is also in DTS-directly left of me in the picture), was wading out and testing rocks. He came back and reported that it would be rough and we’d get really wet, but he thought we could do it. We tried to confer as a team, but I was working too hard to maintain control to be able to speak, so he reported our decision to the staff. They replied that this was not a safe place to cross-they would allow it, if we insisted, but they did not advise it and encouraged us to find another way. Controlling my tears became even harder at this point-I was tired, hungry, sore, cold and now, afraid-I had been assuming that everything we would face, while difficult and uncomfortable, would be, in reality, risk-free (a silly assumption, since nothing in life, especially in the wilderness, is completely safe, but there it is). Needless to say, I was even less help to my team now as we discussed our options. In the end, Jesse and our other male team member, Byrd (from Thailand, here for the PCYM School-left of Jesse in the picture) decided to scout a route to a log bridge we could see a few hundred feet upstream. I had discouraged this route earlier-I had slipped off of a similar bridge the summer before, and though I wasn’t hurt, just shaken, knew the likelihood and the terror of feeling your feet slip out from under you. The water under the bridge last summer had been calm and shallow-this was deep and rushing, with more than a few ugly rocks waiting to greet anyone who fell. But, since we really had no other viable options, the log bridge it was.
Byrd went ahead to test the bridge, and Jesse started leading us upstream. The river bank was steep and rocky, and as I followed him, my foot slipped and I almost fell. That small drop, in light of the possibility of a larger one in my future, was the last straw-I broke down and sobbed like a child for at least a minute. I can still see Jesse’s face, unsure of what to do with this grown woman weeping and holding on to a tree root coming out of the bank. I motioned to the girl behind me to go around and told him I just needed a few seconds to get myself together. By the time he came back for me I was calmer and ready to go on. I will never forget his compassion and patience as he led me up the bank, nor that of Byrd as he talked me across the bridge. I got to the other side safe, tired and incredibly humbled. I apologized to my teammates for abandoning them. They graciously accepted, and we continued our hike.
My experience by ‘the big river,’ as I’ve come to think of it, was good on a bunch of levels. Of course, it wasn’t good in the moment-but God used it to burst the pride-bubble I’d been inflating all day, about ‘how far I’d come.’ He used it to teach me to allow others to help me-something I’m not great at, as a recovering achiever and perfectionist. He showed me that being vulnerable and weak before people does not always result in rejection, but sometimes compassion and deeper friendship. And He showed me, in the hours following when I did not spiral into the pits of shame where I would have been a year ago had this happened to me, how far HE has brought me on the road to emotional and spiritual health. Yea God!
Please praise God with me:
+For an awesome and growth-filled Niko for me, my class and team mates.
+For all but roughly $1500 of our lecture fees being paid-I wish I had time to fill you in on all the details, but God is so good! Only $22,000 of outreach fees and airfare to go!
+That He has given me the opportunity to be the student leader for our outreach to Amsterdam, and for the encouragement and practice He gave me this weekend on Niko
+For my friend Bobby All (Nashville)’s progress on the road to recovery (he’s been in the hospital for several weeks)
Please pray with me:
+For God to provide the remainder of our outreach fees and airfare-He graciously provided mine through you, my supporters, before I left, but as a team we still owe around $22,000, roughly $10,000 of which is due to the travel agent by June 10.
+For God to equip and prepare us individually and corporately for our outreach to Amsterdam, especially to unify us as a team (we have some interpersonal conflicts growing-we need God to nip them in the bud and give us His love for each other)
+For God to provide housing for the first part of our outreach to Amsterdam (as far as I’ve heard, we’re still double booked for the first month)
2 comments:
yay beth! i love reading your stories and how good the Lord is. i'm glad you made it through the trip and that it was so good for you. i don't like crossing rivers either, and that foot slipping feeling is one of the worst feelings ever.
it was good to talk to you this past weekend (even for a short time). i love you and i'm praying for you!!
I finally read your blog! Yay for me! I suck as a friend...I know. ;o)
I'm glad that you're learning so much, and I promise to keep up more on the blog-reading from now on. I hope that you all made your goal of getting the 10 grand to the travel agent!!
Love ya, girlie!
Post a Comment